The Moments Between Appointments

A co-authored guide by Jessica Perrone, IVF Navigator & Advocate (IVF Together) and Allie Moise, Co-Founder (Cove Collective)

IVF is full of appointments. Bloodwork, monitoring, retrieval, transfer, beta — each one marked on the calendar, each one carrying its own weight.

But most of IVF isn’t appointments. Most of IVF is everything in between. The waiting. The wondering. The Tuesday afternoon when nothing is scheduled and everything is still happening inside your head.

That’s what this guide is for.

Jessica Perrone is the founder of IVF Together, and an IVF navigator who helps patients manage the practical side of treatment — the logistics, the questions, the things your clinic assumes you already know. Allie Moise is co-founder of Cove Collective, a private, online, peer support community built by and for people navigating infertility. 

Together, we’re covering both sides of the in-between: what to do, and how to be.

Part One: What to Do — The Practical Side

By Jessica Perrone, IVF Together

When you’re between appointments, it can feel like there’s nothing to do but wait. But the time between actually matters — for your outcomes, for your sanity, and for how prepared you’ll feel when you walk back through that clinic door.

Keep a running list of questions

Things come up between appointments — a side effect you weren’t expecting, a number from your last bloodwork you’re still not sure about, something you read at 11pm that you can’t stop thinking about. Write it down as it comes. Don’t rely on yourself to remember in the exam room. A simple notes app or a dedicated notebook works. The goal is to walk into every appointment knowing exactly what you want addressed — not piecing it together while the doctor is already talking.

Know your numbers — and what they mean

Your clinic will give you results — AMH, AFC, estrogen levels, lining measurements — but they don’t always have time to explain them fully. Learn what you’re tracking and what the ranges mean for your protocol. This isn’t about obsessing over every data point (though we know that happens). It’s about being an informed participant in your own care. When you understand what’s being measured, you can ask better questions and feel less at the mercy of numbers you don’t understand.

Manage your medications before you need them

IVF medication logistics are surprisingly complicated — timing, storage requirements, cost variation between pharmacies, and the reality that running out mid-cycle is a genuine source of panic. In the time between appointments, confirm your upcoming prescription needs with your clinic. Price out your medications at different pharmacies — the savings can be significant. Make sure you have a clear storage plan for anything that requires refrigeration. Getting ahead of the logistics removes one layer of stress when things get intense. 

Prepare for your next appointment before you leave the last one

Before you walk out of each appointment, know what comes next. What are you watching for? When will you hear results? What’s the criteria for moving forward or adjusting the protocol? Clinics move quickly and staff are often juggling multiple patients. It’s your job to make sure you leave with a clear picture of the next steps — and if you don’t, ask before you go.

Build your support structure before you need it most

The practical side of IVF includes logistics around time off work, transportation to early morning appointments, and having someone available when you’re recovering from retrieval. Think through these in the calmer in-between periods rather than scrambling when you’re already depleted. If you have a partner, be specific about what you need from them. Vague requests lead to unmet expectations. This is also the time to identify any professional support — a therapist who specializes in fertility, a community like Cove where people understand what you’re going through — so it’s already in place when you need it most.

Part Two: How to Be — The Emotional Side

By Allie Moise, Cove Collective

There’s no guide that prepares you for the specific mental and emotional experience of the in-between. The two week wait is the most obvious version of it, but the in-between is everywhere in IVF: between retrieval and the fertilization report, between transfer and beta, between cycles when you’re technically not in treatment but emotionally still very much in it.

You can’t think your way through it. You can’t stay positive enough to make it pass faster. What you can do is give yourself a better environment to be in while you’re waiting.

Let yourself feel what you actually feel

The standard advice is to stay positive. It’s well-meaning and almost completely useless. Forcing optimism during IVF doesn’t protect you from disappointment, it just means you’re feeling the anxiety and doing the performance of not being anxious at the same time.

You are allowed to be scared. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to find this unbearable. None of those feelings will affect the outcome. Letting yourself feel them, instead of suppressing them, is actually the lower-effort path.

Stop trying to decode your body

Every twinge. Every cramp. Every time you feel a symptom or don’t feel a symptom you expected. The in-between is when symptom-checking goes into overdrive, and it almost never helps. The research is clear that progesterone supplementation makes early pregnancy symptoms nearly identical to pre-period symptoms regardless of outcome. 

Your body is not giving you reliable information right now.

Knowing this doesn’t make it easier to stop. But naming the spiral as a spiral — “I’m doing the thing again” — can interrupt it just enough to redirect. What helps redirect varies by person. Some people need movement. Some need distraction. Some need to say it out loud to someone who won’t tell them to relax.

Find someone who actually gets it

Research consistently shows that the support IVF patients find most meaningful comes from other people who have been through it, not because their partners and friends don’t care, but because lived experience fills a gap that love alone can’t.

When you’re in the in-between and you need to say something out loud without having to explain what a beta is, without having to manage someone else’s feelings about it, without performing okayness for someone who needs you to be okay - you need a peer. Not a cheerleader. Not someone who tells you it’ll work out. Someone who already knows what day 5 blast means and doesn’t need the preamble.

This is what Cove Collective was built for. Not for the appointments, your clinic handles those, for the moments between.

Protect your attention

The in-between is when the internet becomes particularly dangerous. Not because the information isn’t out there, but because the information doesn’t know your specific case, your specific protocol, your specific embryo. Reading forum threads about failed transfers at 2am is not research. It’s suffering. You are allowed to close the tab.

You are also allowed to put your phone down and watch something stupid and not think about IVF for two hours. That is not giving up or not caring. That is maintenance. Your emotional resources are finite and you will need them later. Spending them all in the in-between leaves you with nothing for the moment that actually matters.

Lower the bar for getting through it

There is no correct way to navigate the in-between. Some people find structure helpful: keeping busy, making plans, filling the calendar. Some people find that exhausting and need to move slowly. Some people need to talk about it constantly. Some people need to not talk about it at all for a few days.

You do not have to be doing it well. You just have to get through it. That is enough.

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

IVF is hard in ways that are hard to explain to people who haven’t been through it. The practical complexity and the emotional weight compound each other, and most patients are managing both without enough support for either.

If you’re looking for help with the logistics - understanding your protocol, managing your medications, knowing what questions to ask - IVF Together is here for that.

If you’re looking for somewhere to put the rest of it - the late night spirals, the feelings you can’t explain to your partner, the need to talk to someone who already gets it - Cove Collective is here for that.

The in-between is real. You don’t have to do it alone.

About the Authors

Jessica Perrone is the founder of IVF Together, an IVF navigator and patient advocate supporting patients through the logistical and informational complexity of fertility treatment. She brings both professional expertise and personal experience to her work. Learn more at ivf-together.com.

Allie Moise is co-founder of Cove Collective, a private, online, text-based peer support community for people navigating infertility. She went through IVF herself and built Cove because she couldn’t find what she needed when she was in treatment. Learn more at covefamily.co.